Summer Celebration Cow

With only 10 hours left of work before I am free for two months, I find myself doing and saying strange things. Yesterday, one of my students decided that she wanted to hang a stuffed cow from my light. “Don’t let anyone take it,” she pleaded and I promised…to try.

So today as my students are all noticing this strange hanging cow they are inclined to ask, “What’s with the cow?” Now, if you teach Jr. High you will understand why I “lied” to my students. For those of you who don’t, try to imagine 45-50 thirteen year olds all asking the same question and none patient enough to listen to a longer-than-four-word answer. Teacher survival rule number 148: choose your battles, sometimes appeasement is better than enlightenment. My response was that it was my summer celebration cow. Strangely, that seemed to be all the explanation that most of them needed.

I think I may make this a new tradition. Three days before the end of school, the summer celebration cow must be hung, upside down, preferably from a light fixture. The summer celebration cow must remain untouched for the final three days. And on the third day the cow must be thanked for the beauty of sleeping in, the peace of being responsible for only a handful of people, the incredible self esteem boost of not hearing moans, groans, and Utah curse words directed at you every time you open your mouth, the fulfillment of being the stay-at-home mom, the wonder of having no nasty emails or phone calls to respond to, and the magnificence of having time to read a book intended for adults. Then, and only then, may the summer celebration cow be lowered and retired for another year.

And then maybe I’ll eat a steak.