Join Me in a Fist Shaking at Politicians

Before you groan and skip this particular blog, I just want to reassure you that I am not referring to Obama or to any specific political party. This is not a my-guy-is-better-than-your-guy rant. It can’t be, really, because I don’t even know who is responsible for this little gem. All I know is that Plato was right, when someone wants a building built they go to a construction expert, if they want a ship built they go to a ship builder, but when they want a government built they all think they are qualified experts. And unfortunately, this mentality spills over into education. When they want an education system built, they do not go to the experts, they make their own decisions.

Recently the Utah legislature has done just that. They have made two (that I want to rant about) decisions that are completely ridiculous, despite warnings and pleadings from the experts.

A bit of background: Every year the State Core (which is what determines what teachers are supposed to teach) designates a certain type of writing that the students are supposed to learn. In 9th grade the emphasis is persuasive writing. The 9th grade teachers spend about half the year teaching persuasive writing. Then the district assigns the Direct Writing Assessment (DWA) and every ninth grader has to write on the same prompt. The essays are then sent off to be scored by district-trained specialists, and by the end of the year the students get scores back that reflect their current ability, and therefore their likelihood of passing the UBSQT (the test every Utah student has to pass in order to receive a diploma).

Flashing back to the present: Like everyone, the legislature is looking at ways to cut costs and save money. One of the ways they are doing this–handing over the DWA to artificial intelligence. Instead of having humans with brains read and grade the essays, they are having them submitted on the computer for an AI program to read and grade. Our district has been using this program for years. We know it’s a fun tool to help kids develop their editing skills. We also know it has serious limitations and is NOT reliable as an assessment tool. We have seen, first hand, students who have tricked the program by writing one paragraph and then copying and pasting it 4 more times and getting an almost perfect score. Or one student who wrote nothing but the letter “L” over and over but put in spaces for words and paragraph breaks. We have also seen students write fantastic papers that the AI marked as “unscorable” or “off topic” because it was too metaphorical. Bottom line, we now have a high stakes test with a completely unreliable score.

And the second brilliant decision? They moved the test from 9th grade to 8th grade. The 9th grade teachers tried to tell the legislature that the students are not yet ready for serious persuasive writing in 8th grade. Not to mention it diminishes the effectiveness of their teaching if they spend the year focusing on a type of writing that the students were assessed on the previous year. The 8th grade teachers tried to tell the legislature that they are barely getting through the core curriculum as is; there is no way they have time to add a completely new section (one that, may I reiterate, the 9th grade teachers spend almost half a year on). But does the legislature listen? No.

Why? Because when this fails no one will die and no property will be damaged. No buildings will collapse. No ships will sink. No consequences will fall on them because, most importantly, no money will be visibly lost. Before it fails it will be millions of dollars saved. After it fails it will be swept under the rug and replaced by something new.

Know-it-All

Is it normal for two-year-olds to be such little know-it-alls? My experience tells me yes, but seriously, who do they think they are? They can barely form complete sentences, they still struggle with adverb and article usage, and they still go to the bathroom in their pants (at least mine does). How they can feel like experts given the circumstances is beyond me, but they still seem to.

My two-year-old corrects me all the time. This morning it was

me: You have chocolate all over your face.

Vincent: No, it’s brownie.

And last week it was

Dad: Jeff isn’t a kid anym0re, he’s like a dude. He’s just like one of the guys.

Vincent: No, he’s not a guy, he’s a giant.

Once we were driving around and this guy almost went the wrong way on a round-about.

Dad: Man that guy is so stupid. I am so sick of stupid American Fork drivers.

Vincent: He’s not stupid, he’s hungry.

And last night as we were getting ready for bed, Vincent kept telling me to move and not in a very polite way.

Dad: Why do you want mommy to move?

Vincent: Move

Dad: Why?

Vincent: move

Dad: I don’t think you understand the concept of why.

Vincent: The Y says “yuh.”

Countdown

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People Right Now:

1) Your irresponsibility is hurting those around you.
2) It’s time to stop holding the grudge. I had my reasons too.

3) There are things worse than loneliness; you should know.

4) Stop kicking me!
5) You are a complete waste of my time.
6) I’m not a prude, you’re a bigot.
7) Your “genius” would be much more believable if you did something with it.
8 You don’t have to save everybody.
9) I have finally learned to respect our differences.
10) You are failing because you are a lazy, good-for-nothing slacker!!

Nine Things About Myself:

1) Like most people, I think I am smarter than most people.

2) I love to sing, but I hate for anyone to hear me.
3) I am a terrible student. I am virtually everything that I can’t stand in my own students.
4) I am nothing like the person I thought I would be at 14.
5) I have no desire to be the person I thought I would be at 14.
6) After 28 years of neglect, I finally started flossing my teeth.
7) I dream about my students all the time
8 I eat chocolate almost every day. I am that bad.
9) Although I am an English teacher, I think I read less than the average person.

Eight Ways to Win My Heart:

1) give it chocolate
2) remember things about it
3) respect its passions
4) share what you love with it
5) rest your hand on my side
6) love my family
7) sing to it
8 seduce it with logic and reason

Seven Things That Cross My Mind a Lot:

1) What life will be like with two kids
2) All the students that I’m not helping
3) Food
4) The need to exercise
5) How excited I am to stay home with my family this summer
6) How much I hate northern Utah County drivers.
7) Suspenders

Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep:

1) take my vitamins
2) floss, brush my teeth, mouth wash
3) stretch and do stomach exercises
4) meditate

5) pray
6) tell my boys I love them

Five People Who Mean a Lot to me:

1) Ian
2) Vincent
3) Cecelia
4) The rest of my family
5) viewers like you…

Four Things I’m Wearing Right Now:

1) shoes (but only because I am at work)
2) tan pants (one of the few pairs of pants I can still wear comfortably)
3) my wedding ring

4) the necklace my husband bought me 4+ years ago (to replace the one he broke with his massive neck muscles).

Three Songs I’ve been listening to a lot lately:

1) You Don’t Know Me by Ben Folds
2) Merry Happy by Kate Nash
3) Bingo as sung by Vincent, Ian, and Myself

Two Things I Want to Do Before I Die:

1) vacation in New Zealand
2) get a Master’s degree in creative writing

One Confession:

I lack the dedication required to ever be great at anything.

Does it make me a bad parent that…

I am starting to think I’m a bad parent. You will soon see why.  The real question is, Does it make me a bad parent that my son…

can recognize and name the two main characters on Bones?

says, “I’m sexy,” while rubbing his belly when he doesn’t have a shirt on?

says, “Hi naked boy!” when he sees his father naked?

tells me it’s not ‘ppropriate for me to yell at the dog and sends me to timeout?

reminds me to say “excuse me” when I burp?

still sleeps 5 nights a week in my bed despite the hundred times that I have said we are not going to let him anymore?

can already make the boy-patented, machine-gun noise and knows to look down the barrel when he “shoots”?

when asked to stop picking his nose responds with, “But there are boogers up there!”?

Well, I know the answer is probably yes, but who has time for good parenting these days when there are so many good shows to watch on T.V.?

Our New Webcam

We got a new webcam today. So, we are experimenting. Enjoy!

Finally Some Real News

I think I have failed to mention this so far, but I am pregnant again. I am due the last week in May. This is good because I am a teacher and will therefore have the whole summer off to be mommy. It is bad because that is the last week of school. It is hard enough for a real teacher to keep a semblance of order that week. I would hate to have to be a sub trying to handle the little monsters.

The first trimester was rough. I did a lot more throwing up with this one than I did with the last one. And I was working a full time, stressful, demanding job, where last time I was working a part time, low stress job–working for a friend who was very understanding if I wanted to come in late or not at all due to sickness. Somehow we got through it. Although my adoring husband spent a lot of the time begging that we never do this again. I guess he isn’t fond of living with a beast.

Second trimester for me is usually cake. The sickness stops, the libido increases (I know you wanted to know that), and I don’t yet feel like Barbra manatee. It is also when I start feeling the baby kick and when we have the ultrasound.

With our last ultrasound, the baby was very cooperative, not shy in the least. Luckily, this baby was the same. It sat very still with its legs and body in a great position for the technician to easily point out her little woman bits. That’s right, we’re having a baby girl.

This was very exciting because we already have three of her four names picked out. Yes we are crazy enough to give a girl four names. She will be called Cecilia (Sp) after her aunt and great grandma Cecilia on daddy’s side, Laurel after her mommy and great grandma on mommy’s side, then some family Maori name that we haven’t yet decided on.

It was also a little sad because it means this will be our last child. We agreed before we were married that we would have two kids if they were different genders and three if they were the same. I was hoping for a boy so I could get three, but I’m still very excited for a little girl. And honestly, at this point, it’s hard to be disappointed about not ever having to be pregnant again.

My Funny Little Family

I love two-year-olds. I learned this eight years ago when I used to work with them at a day care center. Over the years I have slowly forgotten why. My two-year-old is currently doing a fantastic job of reminding me. It is so fun to watch their minds and their reasoning develop, but best of all their little senses of humor.

The other day we were watching Madagascar for the first time. V’s eye were glued on the screen, and I knew he was enjoying seeing all these jungle animals so animated (his room is decorated with a jungle theme, he can name them all). It wasn’t long until he started to show me that he really was understanding a lot more than I thought. He made a few comments about what was going on that really impressed me, but the kicker came just after the zebra in the story says, “I don’t know if I am black with white stripes or white with black stripes.” When V heard that he laughed and said, “That funny. Zebra’s black stripes.”

Sunday night as we were preparing for bed I decided I was just too tired to put V to bed in his own bed. After two weeks of vacation, going to bed late every night, I knew it would not be a quick and easy task. I decided to let him sleep in our bed, hoping this would help me get to sleep sooner. He was still wound up and not happy about going to bed, so I decided to tell him a story. About halfway through “The Three Little Pigs,” Daddy fell asleep and started to snore. This was apparently unacceptable to the two-year-old. Every time Daddy would inhale loudly, the two-year-old would yell “Stop it!” at him, yelling louder with each breath. Daddy sleeps like a bear underwater with ear plugs and didn’t hear a word of it. I wish I had a sound clip for you. Snore…”Stop it.” Snore…”Stop it!” Snore…”STOP IT!”

I was beginning to worry that I was going to go mad before I even got a wink of sleep. I was pretty sure both of them could continue like this all night long. But what was I to do? If I went to sleep on the couch, V would follow me and then I would never get to sleep. If I told Daddy he was snoring he would simply apologize and then quickly go back to doing so. If I killed them both in their sleep, I’d have to dispose of the bodies–which would surely take all night. Before I could decide on a plan of action, V solved the problem for me. He poked daddy in the eye. Daddy woke up enough to stop snoring and reposition himself so he wouldn’t any more. Finally I was able to sleep!

The Great 8

I’ve been struggling to keep up with my blog recently, as you have probably noticed if you’re reading this.  But I am trying, so I am stealing this template from Elesa to help me. It at least gives you a little bit of an update. The responses are in no particular order.

8 Favorite TV shows: (this is really hard since we don’t have TV)

1. The Office
2. Pushing Daisies
3. Brothers and Sisters
4. Lost
5. 30 Rock
6. Battle Star Galactica
7. Scrubs
8. The Daily Show

8 Favorite Restaurants:

1. The Bombay House
2. The Thai Village
3. Asuka
4. Café Rio
5. Benja

6. La Dulce Vida

7. Tucanos
8. Wingers

8 Things that happened yesterday

1. Celebrated my 3^rd anniversary! (I won’t give details)

2. Fell in love with the garlic sirloin at Tucanos
3. Helped my brother-in-law move into his new house

4. Watched Jumper in HD on our new TV
5. Ate raspberry-filled, powdered doughnuts in memory of my wedding cake.
6. Bought a David Sedaris book and a Sushi making instructional DVD
7. My barely two-year-old son announced to my parents that he was “sexy”
8. kissed my husband and enjoyed some bubbly (sparkling apple cider) at midnight

8 Things to look forward to:

1. The ultrasound tomorrow morning!
2. Finishing another semester
3. Presidential inauguration
4. Girls’ night out to see Australia
5. Summer with Ian working part-time
6. buying a house
7. seeing Vincent as a big brother
8. no more snow!

8 Things on my wish list:

1. more maternity clothes
2. new shower curtain and matts
3. a better memory
4. The OED
5. trip to New Zealand
6. High quality digital camera
7. a new lawn
8. snow blower

8 Things I love (like) about Winter:

1. Hot Chocolate
2. Christmas music
3. Fires in the fireplace
4. two week’s vacation
5. Holidays
6. not seeing those dang mole holes all over my lawn
7. cuddling with my love
8. my anniversary

The Two Year Old

So the boy has finally turned two. In many ways I can’t believe I have a two-year-old. As we all know, the time flies. On the other hand, I think he’s so smart I have a hard time believing he’s only just turned two. I don’t know many two-year-olds, so I don’t have much to compare him to, but sometimes I think he’s a genius. But I recognize that all parents think that.

He is also very sweet. The other night he came into my room at four in the morning wanting to join us in our bed. I was tired and decided not to fight him. I pulled him up and lay him next to me. He threw an arm around my neck and sighed, “Mama and Vincent. I love you mama.” I don’t care how much you hate to be awakened in the middle of the night, that melts your heart.

To celebrate his birthday we invited daddy’s family over for breakfast on Saturday morning. Neither Grandma nor Grandpa was able to make it, but all the aunts and uncles and all the cousins but one made it. Kind of a miracle since we told most people the night before. He got WAY too many presents, but he hasn’t complained yet.

On Sunday we celebrated with mommy’s family at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. He loved the train candle holders that Grandma put on his brownie “birthday cake.” He didn’t eat any dinner, but had about four brownies. He woke up crying a lot that night, I blame the brownies.

This morning he got dressed up in all of his new birthday snow clothes and went out to face the weather while Daddy shoveled the walks. He waddled down the stairs and headed straight out into the snow–face planting it after about two steps. We were going to go to Zoo lights tonight, but with all the snow gave up on the idea. I think he enjoyed waddling around in the snow just about as much.

We love that little guy and can’t believe how much fun he is.

High School

1. Did you date someone from your school? No. I was anti-serious dating for high school students. But there were many I would have gladly dated otherwise.

2. What kind of car did you drive? Red Toyota truck that was older than me, then a white chevy truck.
3. Were you a party animal? No. I ran with really Mormony crowds.

4. Were you considered a flirt? I don’t know. I was definitely a flirt, but not a successful one. So who knows?

5. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? Choir.  One of the best experiences of high school. We had a fantastic director who demanded excellence. He gave us all kinds of experience that I will never forget. We got to go to California on choir tour. We sang in temple visitors’ centers, a school for severely handicapped students,  the Capital Theater, and tons of other places. Our director gave us the opportunity (if we were so inclined) to feel the spirit at school and at school activities.

6. Were you a nerd? Kind of. A nerd who had all the right friends.

7. Were you on any varsity teams? I was a varsity slacker, but who’s gonna make a team out of that?

8. Did you get suspended/expelled? no

9. Can you still sing the fight song? Yes. But only because I relearned as a teacher there. And by the way, I think our school song rocks. It’s completely untrue, but it supports the right values.

10. Who were your favorite teachers? Dahlquist (Choir) and Mckee (Japanese).

11. Where did you sit during lunch? In the hall or on the infamous “bench.”

12. What was your school’s full name? Payson High School

13. School mascot? Lions

14. If you could go back and do it again, would you? For sure. I know that makes me a geek or immature, but high school was good times. Mom and Dad paid for everything. No job. Friends galore. It was the life.

15. What do you remember most about graduation? Singing in the choir. And it was so boring I didn’t go when I graduated with my associates or my bachelors.

16. Where did you go senior skip day? no idea. but i’m pretty sure i didn’t go to Lagoon.

17. Were you in any clubs? How else do you meet boys?

18. Have you gained some weight since then? I have gained and lost exactly* 3 million pounds since high school (*not an exact number). Luckily, I currently weigh less than when I graduated from high school. Woo hoo! But that’s not really saying much. I was always a fatty.

19. Who was your prom date? Matthew Angus Mortensen

20. Are you planning on going to your 10 year reunion? I sure am. In fact, I’m planning it if no one else is. (The jerks didn’t do s 5 year).